In infertility treatment, it's all too easy to focus on what's gone wrong, and on what you can't seem to do. It is harder to take a step back and see things from a broader perspective, in which it becomes clear all that you have done, and all that you have learned. Almost all of us are changed by our experiences with infertility, and I feel mostly in a positive way. We know that we can be strong, and tough, and brave, even when the stakes are high. We learn that we can endure more than we thought we could. We learn new and better ways of coping with stress and difficult feelings. We see how much empathy we can have for others experiencing similar difficulties. We show ourselves that our capacity to love is strong, and profound.
When you are feeling down about how things are going, I would encourage you to take a step back, and look for your own private moments of heroism. Think about all the things you have learned, and the distance that you have come. I'm confident that you will find a great deal of good mixed in with all of the bad.
Recognizing your own strength can restore some of the self-esteem that infertility can erode away. And above all, remember: infertility is a medical, biological problem over which you have little or no control. It isn't a referendum on your character, and it isn't some sort of cosmic message that you wouldn't make a good parent. You are more than the functioning of your organs or cells. You are just as good as anybody else!
I wish you all the best of luck in your infertility treatment, and would love to hear how things are going. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, please leave me a comment, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.